Red Flags/How to Support a Friend

Red Flags / How to Help a Friend

While every relationship is likely to have its ups and downs, it is important to keep in mind the warning signs or “red flags” of an unhealthy or abusive relationship in case a rough patch in your relationship has become more intense. Keep in mind that seeing one or two “red flags” in your relationship does not mean it has become abusive, but these behaviors could indicate an unhealthy pattern in your relationship that you may want to further examine.

Unhealthy and abusive relationships can happen to anyone, and it is not your fault. If you see red flags in your relationship, seek out professional counseling to help you make decisions about your relationship moving forward. Everyone deserves to be in a safe and healthy relationship.

There is no typical profile of an abuser, but these are some common behaviors to look for if you are concerned your relationship may be abusive:

Feeling afraid of your partner
Feeling isolated, embarrassed or humiliated
Losing your friends
Extreme jealousy, possessiveness, or controlling behavior
Feeling embarrassed, put down, ashamed, or guilty
Feeling nervous or sick to your stomach when your partner is irritated, frustrated, or angry
Feeling as if your partner touches you in ways you wish they wouldn’t
Being threatened by your partner
Abuse of other family members, children
Verbal or emotional abuse
Blaming you for anything bad that happens
Being physically hurt

If you are concerned about a friend in an abusive relationship and want to help, you can support them by:

Believing them when they share.
Listening to what they tell you and avoid making judgments or giving them advice.
Validating their feelings and letting them know their reactions are normal.
Avoiding victim blaming and try not to ask them unnecessary questions.
Taking their fears seriously, you don’t know what their partner is capable of doing.
Offering help such as providing a safe place to stay or calling the Greater Richmond Regional Helpline together.
Being an active, creative partner in their safety planning effort. Help them evaluate all risks and find a safe place to go if they decide to leave.
Supporting their decisions. Abuse is about power and control, so one of the most important ways you can help a person in an abusive relationship is to consider how you might empower them to make their own decisions.

Call the Greater Richmond Regional Helpline at (804) 500-2755 if you want to talk to someone. A confidential advocate is available 24/7 to help you.

Annual Impact Report

Safe Harbor 990

Donate to Safe Harbor

Get Our Free Newsletter!

Testimonials

Great experience and gained great amount of knowledge. Since this is so prevalent in today's society it is best to have the most information possible.

“I learned that I am as strong as I think I am, and that I am definitely a survivor.”
- T, domestic violence survivor

“Both my child and I have received counseling that has added to the quality of our life. I know that I am not alone, and that has made me a better parent.”
- I, domestic violence survivor

“I feel so fortunate to have found a program like Safe Harbor. I was greeted with smiles, a calming presence, and a place to heal and rebuild my life.Thank you!”
-M., domestic violence survivor

“Safe Harbor helped me to get a preliminary protective order against my abuser. Their services and support helped me to navigate the court system and feel more confident. I am very grateful for these resources and to know that I was not alone during this process.”
- M, domestic violence survivor

“It was very nice to have someone there to give me support while I was going through the process. She was very helpful and kind. I did not know that people like that existed anymore.”
- Survivor quote