Online dating is a common way people connect, especially among young adults. Research from the Pew Research Center shows that more than 50% of adults ages 18–30 use or have used dating apps. With so many people meeting this way, it’s important to talk about both safety and accountability — how people can navigate real risks while also challenging the systems and norms that place responsibility for preventing harm on those most often targeted by it.
If you or a loved one is dating online, use these practical tips to keep yourself safer.
● Be wary of suspicious profiles. Accounts with no photos, a single vague image, or very limited information may be fake or unsafe.
● Verify before meeting. Look for linked social media, mutual connections, or suggest a video chat to confirm the person matches their profile.
● Protect your personal information. Avoid sharing addresses, financial details, passwords, or other identifying information with someone you haven’t met.
● Use block and report tools. If someone is harassing, pressuring, or asking for money, use in-app reporting features and disengage.
● Trust your instincts. Tell someone where you’re going, meet in public, and leave if you feel uncomfortable. Your safety matters more than being polite.
Dating safety and dismantling rape culture can coexist
Offering safety tips does have a downside. When the focus is only on how individuals should protect themselves, it can unintentionally suggest that harm is preventable if someone just “does the right things.” This narrative places responsibility on those most often targeted by violence rather than on those who cause harm.
Let’s be clear: the responsibility for preventing violence never belongs to those who experience violence. The responsibility lies with people who perpetrate harm and with systems that allow that harm to continue, i.e. rape culture.
Naming rape culture does not mean ignoring the realities people face while dating. Practicing safety is not an admission of fault or responsibility. It is a way of navigating a world that has not yet fully changed. We can offer tools for self-protection without reinforcing victim-blaming, as long as we are clear about where accountability belongs.
We dismantle rape culture by:
- Believing survivors
- Challenging harmful norms and jokes
- Respecting boundaries and consent
- Holding perpetrators and institutions accountable
If you experience harassment, assault, or violence while dating, or at any time, know this: it is not your fault, and support is available.
Connection should never come at the cost of safety. We can care for ourselves and continue the work of creating a culture rooted in respect, consent, and accountability.
If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, we are here to listen. Call our 24/7 Helpline at 804-500-2755.