Domestic violence is defined as a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship. In movies and the media, physical, visible violence is often portrayed as a part of abusive relationships. This leads many to believe that there must be physical violence and bruises or broken bones to mean that a relationship is abusive. However, there are many different ways for an individual to maintain power and control over another that do not involve physical violence.
Emotional abuse occurs when an individual exerts control through the following:
- Calling you names, insulting, or constantly criticizing you
- Acting jealous or possessive (checking your phone, refusing to trust you, not allowing you to have your own friends)
- Isolating you from your friends and/or family
- Blaming you for the abuse
- Gaslighting you and causing you to constantly second-guess yourself or think that you are crazy
Sexual abuse occurs when an individual exerts control through the following:
- Forcing or manipulating you into having sex (continuing to pressure you after you say ‘no’)
- Making you feel like you ‘owe them’ sex
- Ignoring your feelings regarding sex
- Hurting you or holding you down against your will during sex
Financial abuse occurs when an individual exerts control through the following:
- Giving you an allowance and closely monitoring your purchases/demanding receipts
- Channeling your income into their bank account and denying you access to it
- Ruining your credit score
- Living in your home but refusing to work or contribute to the household
- Not allowing you to work or forcing you to work specific hours
It is important to remember that all of above are valid types of abuse. No one deserves to be abused, whether it is physically, emotionally, sexually, or financially. If you have experienced any of the above in a relationship, there is hope and help. Call the Greater Richmond Regional Hotline at 804-612-6126 to get linked to resources and support.
Information above is adapted from the National Domestic Violence Hotline