Alice and Calvin Gay were lab partners in Earth Science class at Fayetteville State University. While Alice appreciated Calvin’s intellect, she turned him down when he asked her out on a date that semester. They finished the class as friends and parted ways.
Three years later, Calvin rented a room near Alice’s family home. She saw him walking down the street and told her sister she was going to talk to him. Her sister tried to convince her otherwise. Alice had her mind made up. She and Calvin started dating and have been happily in love since then. That was 46 years ago.
It started like a fairy tale and has been that way ever since.
Sitting with Alice and Calvin was a lot of fun. It is easy to see why they have such a happy life together. They genuinely love and respect one another. They make each other laugh (and me too!). They are intelligent and wise. They are kind and generous.
These two retired teachers share a love of reading and learning. Their daily routines and travels are filled with books; they go to the library before any vacation to stock up on them!
Alice and Calvin were nominated for inclusion in the Hot Healthy Love series by Alice’s little sister Cheryl who has been a witness to their love story throughout its 46 years.
They have set an example for the young adults in our family and community.
She spoke with fondness and deep emotion of Alice and Calvin’s generosity and support throughout the years for her and the rest of their family.
One of the couple’s early hurdles was learning that you not only married your spouse, but you married two families. Each family has its own traditions, expectations and culture. Alice shared that blending their two families called upon the virtue of tolerance for both she and Calvin.
This couple attributes their longevity and happiness to their faith. Both are active in their faith community and share their faith together. They believe their shared “moral compass” (as Calvin calls it) has allowed them to share a happy life together. They discuss their faith during the video included below.
Both implore couples to listen to one another to nurture their relationships. Calvin said he had to learn that being “right” wasn’t as important as hearing and respecting what Alice had to say. Each stated that setting your ego aside is essential to a happy relationship.
Alice and Calvin believe their mutual and separate interests are essential to the health of their relationship. They believe that knowing how to be independent helps you be a better partner.
They also believe their faith has allowed them to negotiate conflict in ways that preserve their relationship. They seek to communicate positively with one another using gentle, calm tones… especially when they disagree. They rely on their faith when they find a problem they can’t solve together.
Alice and Calvin’s daughter is happily married with children. They enjoy spoiling their granddaughters.
During our time together, we recorded some video content. In this video, Alice and Calvin share how their faith has nurtured their relationship, how they met and how their common interests support their love. Click this link to watch: Hot Healthy Love: Alice and Calvin